


Archivist12 And The Tell-Tale Stomach

by Tulina



Category: Mina de Malfois
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-21
Updated: 2009-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-04 20:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tulina/pseuds/Tulina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dishsuds make Mina impatient, and Arc takes Alka-Seltzer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Archivist12 And The Tell-Tale Stomach

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gnomad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gnomad/gifts).



  
Judith Silverman was patient woman who liked doing things her way. It was, though more or less conniving, the honest and straightforward way. Except sometimes this wasn't as exact as she would wish.

She was at work, checking the contents of a new fanzine that had just arrived and looked interesting enough―or wanky enough, if one wanted to see it that way. An IM window popped open soundlessly and she sat up in her chair. It was Nancy, though, just Nancy, wanting to know what she thought of the first chapters of Mina's original novel. Judy caught herself looking guiltily at her office door, then frowned at the screen.

'They are excellent,' she said. She had not read them yet, although Mina had e-mailed them on Monday and it was Thursday already. But she didn't want Nancy, of all people, to know that.

'And? What are you going to do?'

This, of course, was suspicious. She was aware she was the kind of woman who _did _things, but she didn't know there was something to be done. Besides reading the chapters, which she looked forward to do―she suspected the anticipation itself was what kept her from it. She valued anticipation. Maybe she was getting old, or possibly just trying to look at the bright side. Also, she liked how Mina had looked at her these past mornings, as if trying to determine if she had read it or not. It was slightly petty of her, maybe, and she didn't like liking it, but she missed... No, she didn't miss Mina needing her, she was sure she wasn't that self-centered. Still, she liked to know she still sought her particular opinion, and hadn't just sent her a copy of her email to the Clives by mistake.

It _was _rather mean of her. She was reading it and letting her know that same evening, and that settled it.

But how had Nan got ahold of it?

'Has she sent you a copy?'

'No. I got it by other means. _Interesting _means.'

Right. Judy would not rise to the bait, and Nan would tell her just how interesting, exactly.

'So what will you do?' Or maybe not.

'I am very busy', she typed, then erased it. She didn't want Nan to feel she wasn't confiding in her, if this was about something Mina had done. And lately it was always about things Mina did or stopped doing. Mostly the later. 'I need to think about it.'

'She did refuse the money this year.'

Judy leaned back in her chair and glanced at the door again, pursing her lips, 'Yes. She kept the summer job.'

'And you hate it.'

Oh yes, she hated it. She thought she understood the reasons―there was a new and fascinating tilt of the chin when Mina mentioned it. Or there had been, before she started sporting the exhausted look of someone doing too many things. Judy was proud of her, and disapproved of it, and worried she was overworked, and liked to see her doing her way as she chose. Even if she deserved better. But that was a thing of hers―to quote Nancy, if it were in Judy's hand, Mina would be fucking royalty.

'You could find her something more appropriate,' Nan suggested, without waiting for her to acknowledge it.

Again, she had. She had made a couple of calls when, right after arriving from the road trip with those two, Mina had announced she would not accept the Silver Camp money anymore. But she had never done anything, nor told her about it. She suspected Mina wouldn't appreciate it―it would have defeated her purpose. As soon as she saw the tilt of the chin, she understood. She now confessed as much to Nancy, who went, in the supportive-but-unreliable-friend role she had adopted after Australia, 'I thought as much. She really adores you. I would never have washed that many dishes for you, you know.'

There was a knock on the door and Mina slid in, hair tied back and dimple in cheek. Judy could not stop herself from smiling a little.

'This just arrived for you,' Mina said, setting a couple of books in brown envelopes on the desk. Her hand lingered on them and Judy felt a tug in the stomach.

'Thank you. Did you find what you needed?'

'Yes, thank you.' Already at the door, Mina turned. Judy frowned at the screen, where Nan was saying she would look into it herself. 'Arc,' Mina said, but lost her cool when she turned towards her again. She was rather obvious, her Mina. 'Nothing. I'll head off now. See you tomorrow.'

'See you.' Judy's eyes crinkled of their own accord, and the door closed. Judy was half-tempted to start reading the chapters right away.

***

  
Judith Silverman was a rational woman who wasn't much given to unexpected bursts of emotion.

That said, she did cry a little upon reaching the last page of the five chapters, and huddled under her bed covers for a while. Had she been questioned, she wouldn't have known why, exactly, was she so distressed, except because her stomach hurt and because Mina had written an incredibly tender and _longing _fifth chapter, in which there was, well, not an archivist, but a cyborg in stilettos who always knew what had to be done.

The main character, an aristocrat hacker girl looking for the Holy Grial, was in love with her.

Judy got up and headed to the bathroom. She put on a hairband and washed her face with cold water. She started her skin care routine, which always helped her feel better, and scrubbed her face with the cleanser until the lather was about to seep into her eyes. The thing with Mina was... She rinsed the soap off and applied the toning carefully, remembering the cyborg and smiling despite herself, a silly, truly happy grin that lasted the few seconds her scruples took to show up. The moisturizer was quick to dry and she discarded the hairband before padding towards the kitchen, toes curling on the cold tiles. She needed an Alka-Seltzer and a brandy, which usually worked. Or at least it worked after the BNF auction at the damned con, and that awful afternoon she had an unsent letter by Mina in her hands and ended up running off to find Nancy. And again, when she told Mina to reassure Jen, but afterwards had to convince herself that it was for the best. When she read _Bound for Detention_ and dreamt of it for a week. And there was that weekend, when she invited Mina over to let her see where the money came from and convince her to _take _it, and Mina went and charmed everyone with her slight awkwardness and the gentle, surprised look she had when she listened to someone, never mind it was Val (who really was fascinating) or Seldom (who really wasn't, and wasn't there that weekend anyway).

Where were the tablets? She stopped to analyze what she was doing, glass of water in hand, and walked back to the medicine cabinet. Adage jumped down from the sofa and followed her, tail straight in the air, as if escorting her around. She glanced at herself in the mirror after gulping down the whole thing, made a face, and hurriedly switched off the light. She made her way back to the kitchen in the dark. She had to keep pulling Mina away, if only because she could not pull her closer. It was still too soon, no matter what Mina herself thought―and wrote, in a youthful outburst that made her feel all swoony and old. She poured herself a brandy and bent down to caress the cat, pulling up when she started to feel sadness creeping on her. She told herself it was her toes freezing, and went back to her room.

It was silly to think Mina hadn't realized everything, but she did entertain the idea while she slid back into bed, Adage in tow. This was all, it was just... she had been taken by surprise, having expected the chapters to be simply what Mina usually wrote―something impressive and twisted and hot that made you wonder what was inside that apparently innocent head of hers. She had this ability to write things that made you insane as you read them, and then left you feeling a bit ashamed of yourself and desperately craving the next fix. Judy had felt that from the start, before luring her to _Penn'd Passion_, and upon meeting her online she had developed a crush (that had more or less the same effects than her prose), and then somehow she had found herself being friends with Mina and irrationally in love with her, which had another set of side effects. _And _that had been before seeing her in the flesh up close, all jitters and soft voice and heady perfume. And flesh.

Of course, Mina had never stated anything on her side before now. Judy knew they loved each other. Judy thought they might be the strongest influence in each other's life, but, if there was something more, she didn't want to know yet. She could wait. She was good at the waiting and plotting and keeping things to herself. Alas, apparently Mina was not. Also, apparently Mina was in love with her, although Judy couldn't tell whether she had written about it because she had wanted her to know, or, as it often happened with Mina, had first written it and then, after sending it to her, realized that she had given herself away. Judy was in no mood to analyse the text to know, and she denied herself a second reading. Nan was right, she had to do something. And it would start by taking a few days off to think about matters, cool down and figure out how to keep Mina at arms lenght for a year or two more.

The pain wasn't receding yet, and Judy rolled to her side to pull Adage closer and leave the empty brandy glass on her bedside table. The decision was taken. And still, before switching off the light, she put the printed chapters under her pillow so they wouldn't fall from the bed at night.

***

  
Judith Silverman was a caring woman that took good care of the people she loved, such as friends, family, lovers and Mina.

She didn't pick up the phone when Mina called on Friday morning. Instead, she listened to the message three times ('Hey, Arc, it's Mina. I say, Ceswyn was wondering if you had taken ill, she says she had an appointment with you today? And I, um, offered to call you since she hasn't got your number. Um, I hope you are well. See you next week?'). Each time she failed to feel as guilty for her grad student as for the insecurity in Mina's voice, and she finally gave up and headed to the shower.

In the afternoon, after rescheduling all of her appointments until Wednesday, she had another Alka-Seltzer and at least six cups of tea, and surfed travel agencies' websites for two hours. In the end, she decided she didn't want to go anywhere if she couldn't leave her stomach behind. Besides, she would have to leave Adage with someone.

She had no news from Mina (no email, no phone call, no IM to see if she was logged in as invisible) until she loaded _Sanguinity _at three in the morning. She was fully convinced she wouldn't be there at that time; she hadn't been playing much of late, what with the researching, grad studying, dish-cleaning, BNFing and novel-writing. They crossed each other on her way to the Cult of Mean, though, and Mina immediately bid PrinceC goodbye and crossed the dark street to greet her.

'Arc, old girl,' she said, but didn't get too close.

Didn't she work the next day? Judy was about to ask, but thought that was too motherly, and then decided motherly was perfect. She went with a stern, 'Shouldn't you be sleeping?'

There was no tilt of the chin, thankfully, because only RL Mina could do it in that special way. Instead, the avatar looked slightly mutinous. 'Girls just wanna have fun,' she said, and even the font seemed wry.

'You need to rest,' Judy answered sensibly, heading back to the docks. Mina followed her. It was clear as day she wasd thinking how to ask her whereabouts and feelings without being too obvious, and Judy braced herself for it, watching with something akin to trepidation as they both sat on the docks, took off their boots for verisimilitude's sake and let virtual water lap at their feet. Judy's real feet felt cold, and she folder her legs under herself. She didn't see much sense in waiting and getting nervous while Mina thought of a subtle approach, so she got it started herself, simply saying she had read the chapters.

'And what do you think?' of course, it meant _Did you like them?_

'They are very well written, as usual.'

There was a pause, in which she imagined Mina basked in the praise and fretted about the lack of useful information. 'I am a bit concerned about Helena.'

Helena was the cyborg. Judy could see how Mina was worried―she was worried herself. She should have thought of something to say, something sensible and tactful and distant enough, but she hadn't, because she kept smiling like an idiot every time she tried to think about it as a problem, and her stomach did both nice and nasty somersaults, and she had thought she wouldn't have to face Mina until she was ready. 'I can see that,' she typed, at least.

'I imagined you would,' said Mina instantly, making her smile. Mina nudged her shoulder with hers, even, and tipped back her face to look at the stars in the game.

'I like that she is a cyborg. It's a valid reason why nothing can happen with the beautiful hacker yet,' typed Judy, very carefully.

'Not sure about that. She could help her in her quest. She could run away with her.'

Judy needed a brandy very badly, but couldn't walk away from the screen. 'I thought she was helping,' she protested, pondering the running away idea. Very youthful and very tempting, in a platonic way, and very... not possible. Unthinkable, even.

'I meant a more hands-on approach,' Mina said, and Judy hadn't thought her capable of it. She found herself gripping the mouse; her fingers suddenly burned, she looked down, and yes, they were white and tight against the plastic.

She hastily let go of it and replied without further thought. 'The getting together traditionally happens by the end of the novel for a reason.'

'Traditionally, yes.'

She wondered briefly if she was just imagining that they weren't talking about the novel anymore. Pushing things wasn't Mina's style, but then again this was just covert enough to have her doubting. Which had to mean Mina _was _talking about them.

She took so long to answer, after calmly walking to the medicine cabinet, getting her tablet and trying to collect her wits, that Mina had opted to change tracks when she came back. 'Anyhow, are you alright? Everyone was worried.'

Judy was relieved to the point of answering truthfully. 'My stomach hurts.' She didn't add, 'It must be something I read'. But she thought it and smirked, and finally added, in case Mina was really concerned, 'I'll take a few days off.'

'Then you should be in bed, too, dear,' was Mina's unexpected answer. Judy felt instantly warm, and a bit better.

***

  
Judith Silverman was a self-sufficient woman who could take care of herself under all circumstances.

That included, of course, psicosomatic pains and dealing with feelings she could not really control. She expected to be able to think clearly in a couple of days, know what to do by Monday and be calm enough to do it by Wednesday, by which she was to go back to normal life. What she didn't expect was Mina turning up in her doorstep on Saturday afternoon.

It was raining, a normal occurrence in early December, and Judy was having a long and supposedly relaxing bath. Of course, the doorbell rang and she supposed it would be her Amazon order, so she didn't bother to put on much more than her terrycloth bathrobe and slippers. It was a mistake. Because when she opened the door she found a dripping Mina, clutching a paper bag to her chest.

Judy felt naked and wondered why the corners of her mouth where pulling up while the rest of herself wanted to disintegrate or _get dressed_.

'I was worried and I though―I went to―I brought you soup,' Mina rattled off, as if she thought she was going to slam the door on her. Judy took in the wide-open eyes, the creeping blush and the offered paper bag. Judy was shocked at Mina's worrying enough to drop by with _soup_. She felt special, like she had just been seduced, and only managed to arch her eyebrows when Mina put the bag in her hands. She realized her seducer was turning to go right on time to call her name and open the door further in silent invitation.

'It's raining a lot,' she said all sensibly, when Mina was inside. The door was closed and she could lean on it without being obviously in need of support. Mina didn't look at her in the eye, just at the puddle she was making on the floor and at Adage, who watched them from the ever warm top of the DVD player. 'You can take your coat off. I'll heat the... do you want something to drink? Brandy?'

It took a while for Mina to follow her to the kitchen; when she did, Judy already had a hot bowl between her hands and a brandy glass set for Mina. She understood the delay at once―apparently Mina had come straight from work, and did not like to be seen still wearing her uniform. She stood in the doorway, looking everywhere but at her; there was the lovely thing with the chin again, and she advanced to her drink, glancing discreetly in her direction. Judy herself felt tied in knots.

She was awful at this; she could never flirt, she didn't know how to go with the flow, she always seemed too serious and uptight and cold. Not to mention that she should not be even thinking about giving in, at all, never mind how touched she was. What she needed to do was just take control of the situation again, make Mina comfortable and hope she would understand there were reasons not to jump into anything. Yet.

She took a sip of the broth, trying to calm down with its warmth, and smiled politely at Mina, who was now several feet away, looking at the magnets on her fridge. 'You didn't get too wet, did you?'

Mina's eyes were on her, and she shook her head, lips turning slightly as in wonder.

Judy tried again. 'Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate it very much, Mina, it is very thoughtful of you.'

'It's nothing! I―I hoped I could help. I didn't mean to disturb you. I can...'

'It's alright. It's always alright,' Judy said, as firmly as she could.

They might have kissed then, hadn't there been so much _kitchen _between them. Mina looked a bit overwhelmed, but nodded. Judy broke into a relieved smile.

'I'll go now, then,' Mina said, leaving the untouched brandy on the counter. She clearly didn't want to go anywhere, and Judy wanted to say it was still raining outside. She didn't.

Mina halted by the kitchen door, unconsciously blocking Judy's way, and turned to her. She looked tired and concerned. 'Is Helena alright with you too?'

'Helena will wait,' she said, placing one hand on Mina's shoulder to make her walk.

Mina didn't bulge. Instead, she frowned in disagreement. 'I'd rather she didn't,' she said, startling Judy so her heart started beating in her throat. Mina shook her head defiantly, glaring at her right shoulder. 'She won't, if it's my choice. They will find it together.'

Judy didn't see a way out without saying it, so she did. 'You are a student. I―'

'A _grad _student.'

'Nevertheless―'

'And I don't depend on anyone now.'

'I don't want to interfere with your―'

'But you are always interfering!'

'I see.'

Judy knew she looked hurt; Mina was suddenly pale and anxious. 'I rather like it, though,' she offered.

'Mina,' Judy said, hoping it would stop any further conversation.

It did―she turned away and hurried towards the main door, head bowed. Judy followed suit, feeling her stomach clench in anticipation of the front door slamming shut. But of course Mina didn't storm off, but waited, averting her eyes, for her to open it. Judy touched her elbow lightly, not wanting her to leave worrying about a faux-pas, and she looked up.

'I don't... Maybe it's fine for you to wait. But I can't,' Mina blurted out, when Judy was already holding the door open. She stood there in horror as Mina turned her back to her and sniffled, discreetly drying her cheeks with the back of her hand.

Judy closed the door. She had never seen her cry, and of course she had never seen her hold herself together like that.

'I'm sorry. I am exhausted,' Mina said, desperately trying for a dignified look. 'You can wait all you want. I'll just wait for you to stop waiting.'

Judy pulled her close―she didn't have the heart to see her off just like that, and it was raining after all. She half-expected Mina to protest, but she sort of snuggled in, resting her cold nose against her neck, and breathed. 'Shh, now,' she said, closing her eyes to better feel Mina's hair around her fingers. 'It's not that bad.'

'For you, maybe,' came the muffled answer, earning Mina a light kiss on the temple.

'You have had lots of fun so far,' she said, not wanting to recall how much, exactly, or any particulars of it.

'But I'd rather have fun with you.' There was another kiss, and then a hesitant question. 'You do like me, right?'

'Don't be silly. I love you.' Judy grimaced, not sure saying that had been a good idea.

It probably depended on one's definition of good.

Mina disengaged herself enough to narrow her eyes at her and go, 'Then I don't know who's being silly here.'

And they kissed.

THE END

*

Dear Gnomad, thank you for the pretty assignment! I was ecstatic when I received it, because it was something I had wanted to write for months. Then I remembered why I hadn't even tried. :D Anyway, I tried and had lots of fun, all thanks to you. I hope you like it (even if they never get to the erotica part).

Dear Mina de Malfois, if you ever read this, I am sorry I made Arc up―I'm sure she's nothing like I wrote. Thank you for writing such brilliant memoirs! :)

Also thank you to Hele(na) and Elizabeth (who might or might not be an aristocrat hacker) for Writing Day and the beta jobs, and also to Rak and E who kindly let me rant on although they didn't know what I was talking about.

 


End file.
